i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
