Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
