Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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