Soap is not a condiment
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
