The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
