I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
