I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
