dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You smell like a Billy Joel song
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
