Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
