Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
