Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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