fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You did what with his pubic hair?
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