He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
