You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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