You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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