Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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