a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Someone signed my nipple.
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