I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
