My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
