Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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