Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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