I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
