if you like me you must not know who I am
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
