Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize