Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
