I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
