i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
