OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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