I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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