gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
