I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
