OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We left the knife in your bed.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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