I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Randomize
