One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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