Sry I called you an 8
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
