Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize