so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
