Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
