and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
