Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
