guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
