you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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