So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
