at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
