My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
How's work?
Spinning.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I lost the right to judge tonight
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
