my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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