All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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