gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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