That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
