Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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