No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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