Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
