so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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