I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
