i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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