I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Life is so much better after having sex.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
