The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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