Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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