Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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