But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
