If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
