I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
