did you get engaged???
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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