my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
too bad you live with your parents still
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
