And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
